Hallucinatory poetry "Beauty"

I wish to find what makes me happy,
and I'm already isolated with my life,
So I'll play piano in a cell,
To satisfy the ear of my future audiences down the road.
And I'll forget the failed relationships.
I will create something original,
Wishing my eyes were the color of green grass.
I buy the Jasmine tea all over 'gain for what I don't have,
As an illusion I will die by natural causes.
I will care about the things most important to me,
My health, skin, and future, and other issues.
No one outside of my family cares deeply enough,
Or finds my manliness at heart desirable.

Hallucinatory poetry "Deathly tanned."

In my imagination,
I come knocking at your door.
You see me,
You slam it shut.
I knock again,
So you cry.
Though I was deathly tanned and love was real,
foreign as can be.   

Hallucinatory poetry "Dust."

Dust is like an enigma,
It settles on the Earth,
But becomes rock after epochs.

Hallucinatory poetry "The Illusion"

Studying was like an illusion,
I waited for my loved one at the Cafe,
Only to come out in despair.
I pursued schoolwork and she warned me,
To never see her again.

Hallucinatory poetry "The Reflection,"

I’m certain my mind is already made,

After hours spent in the cataclysm of hell so to speak,

I will climb from the depths of despair toward some bright ray of hope,

Though in time I've learned that all I felt was made up in my mind,

For in the end of all these steadfast, fleeting thoughts, 

What has passed was between me and you.
That infinite realm of the Universe can shed light,

Although her thoughts are more negative than positive,

I'm in a state of thought I could wait forever till your moment arrives,

Though I should have thought clearly what I was going to say,

That I should have thought about you,

Despite the conclusion we're irreplaceable.  

-Dedicated to Ariel.